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On Abandonment
“Perseverating” is a word I was unfamiliar with until after six decades of life. It means, in my words, to focus intensely and uncontrollably on past wrongs, embarrassments, and disappointments I not only experienced, but feel I caused as if something still could be done to fix, avoid, or flip the experiences into happy moments.
I perseverate and do so almost daily. Doing so could consume minutes during my day or even an hour or two. I relive very painful moments in my life. Something triggers the memory of that painful moment, regardless of circumstances during the day, and I am off to the races. For instance, I could lose ten minutes of a business meeting due to perseveration. read more